I mentioned recently that I was working on a hypothetical cookbook titled “Hypothetical Cookbook”. I’m sure I told you that this project is temporarily stalled and taking up an entire walk-in closet as I pursue other interests like a magpie in jewelry store.
Last night, I had another breakthrough … a new concept that will surely rock the foundation of crafting forever!
Let me warn you, this idea is incredible and so cutting edge that Martha & Mary will have no choice but to offer me ostentatious credits in their glossy magazines and pay me outrageous fees for my consulting services. Far better than that unadulterated hero-worship will be the outcry of gratitude from parents all over America and beyond.
They will chant my name at the kitchen table, card table, and coffee table … “Annie, Annie, Annie”! Vince, the ShamWOW dude will sell my wares on late night television and every mother, father, and child will, indeed, be saying, “WOW!” every time.
So without further ado, please let me introduce my newest creation:
The All-In-One, Total & Complete, Extra Large, NASA approved, Congressional Medal of Awesomeness winner ~ SOCIAL STUDIES PROJECT IN A BOX!!!
As I sat there, painstakingly applying glitter to the scales of justice, after two trips to the Hobby Lobby, it dawned on me that there had to be a better way. ~ Ann, Mother of 5, MO
Original offerings will include:
The Roman Republic: Complete with pre-pasted, glittery, golden scales of justice, a hand-carved, floral foam Pantheon, and a dozen, acid and lignin free, cotton bond scrolls in a plastic pot labeled “The Twelve Tables”
Life in Charles Dickens’ England: Comes with cardboard, pop-up, factory setting, complete with tuna can smokestacks and tragically injured doll holding a sign that says “For sale: baby shoes, never worn”. You will also receive, as a bonus, a copy of “The Great Stink … Corruption and Murder Beneath the Victorian Streets of London”, by Clare Clark.
The American Presidency: This is a double kit for families Republican or Democrat. Contains heavy-duty card stock masks of each president's likeness that tie in the back with 2-inch red, white, and blue grosgrain ribbon. Also included is a full script of either prolific quotes or scandalous gaffes. Oral reports will never be the same. (May also be used as Halloween costume or fun, party game.)
Suggestions for future kits should be made in the comments section below.
You’re Welcome, America.
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2 comments:
For every parent who has ever made a pueblo from two telephone books and a can of playdough ... this one's for you!!!
I have made american flags out of ribbon and fabric, Adobe buildings out of sugar cubes. A rube goldberg project that lasted 2 minutes after you dumped the sand in and the finally outcome of a penny sliding into a bank!! Can I hear a Hell Yeah!
Honorable mention is the last minute Valentine box for the boy in my house.
Running to the bus stop with his New Balance shoe box in his hand and me with scissors quickly cutting a hole in the top. No valentine decorations needed we used the already included stickers on the box that said "On Sale $17.00"
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