Me & My Cadaver ...

If you follow this, you know that I have a cadaver bone "grafting" in my jaw right now. If you didn't know, you can read about it here. Aside from being totally creeped out by the whole idea of having an "unknown" bone growing in my MOUTH, I am healing well. The bone area is still a bit sore & bits of food get stuck in the hole left by my original tooth, but all in all, it's going better than I expected. My cadaver bone does not like the cold though ... so I've spent most of the week with a thick fleece scarf wrapped around my neck & the bottom part of my face ... I'm certain I look much better this way.

Other than the obvious benefit of my bone allowing me to get a tooth implant later (in a few months after the cadaver bone has grown to my bone) this totally gross endeavor gives me a couple of other options: (1) Selective Tourette's (I'm thinking I'll use this one a lot) and possibly (2) cadaver posession. If Giant's superbowl star David Tyree can exploit his devil posession for good, I think it might work for me, too.

Actually, I'm not planning to exploit my cadaver in any of those ways. I'm actually very thankful for that little piece of bone ... and that's not all. I had a bit of a reality check this week when I said something to someone I adore ... someone so sweet and so kind ... I answered her dismissively; without considering her feelings at all ... and though she wasn't upset in the least (I'm not even sure she noticed) ... I noticed & I was very upset ... with myself. I don't want to be that person ... that person that takes all the blessings and wonderful karma they've received with a grain of salt. I don't want to be that person that lacks what I consider to be the best quality of them all ... gratitude.

I felt like John McCain. Remember when he was trying to explain the moxy of his aged mother and he recounted the story of her trip to Paris … the one in which she wasn’t allowed to rent a car because she was too old and so instead she bought a car and conducted her tour of the City of Lights … just as she wished to do. Outrage erupted. “How dare he tell such a story when 30 percent of this country lives in poverty.” “He’s so rich … he doesn’t understand America.” “We’re in a recession … the market is bottoming out and he’s telling a story about his silver-spoon mother's life.” I was annoyed with that anecdote as well … even though I knew what his intention was … and it surely wasn’t to annoy me and the rest of the voting populace … it was just the wrong story at the wrong time, and maybe there’s no time for a story like that outside of your immediate family … I don’t know.

I do know I did something similar to that this week though and I also know that my heart isn’t hard-wired that way. I know that inside of me is a person who could live without all of the luxuries I have. I am just so damn lucky. I have five beautiful, smart, healthy children. I have a wonderful home. I have a terrific, loving husband. I’ve had a career that I loved and jobs that I wanted to go to every single day. I have amazing friends that I've had since childhood and many, many that haven't been around that long. I don’t know how or why I’ve been so blessed with these things … I’ve never done anything to buy me that kind of karma … and I’m grateful. I’m grateful to the core of my soul.

And so it's my mission ... every single day ... to get up and thank God. Thank him for blessing me with this amazing life and for showing me his grace, even when I don't deserve it.