Passive Aggressive Is as Passive Aggressive Does

I wish I could be like Stacey. She faces all confrontation head-on ... you always know exactly where you stand. I admire that.

But ... that's just not me. I'm totally non-confrontational ... I have a "side", but I keep it to myself mostly ... only erupting at what seems to be the very last moment ... which results in mostly confusion and never in resolution.

I'm in a mood today. Rob is out of town and I've been here a good while ... alone with the children. Not that that is a big problem; they are my kids too ... but it irks the piss out of me when he's off on a trip ~ eating out and going to bed early without any laundry or dishes to do ... and I'm stuck here in what appears to be the drop zone for a previously detonated atomic weapon. Everyone is on edge and behaving much worse than usual.

That includes me ... but not in the way you might think. Oh ... I'm smiling and laughing and playing with the kiddos ~ same as everyday ... but I've let this house go to hell and I ordered pizza (he really hates that). The best part ... I did it all with intent ... on purpose. All the toy boxes are dumped out ... there's a mountain of laundry & the beds are unmade ... and I don't care. Well, I do care a little, but this is my way of getting back at my sweet & caring husband (who is on a BUSINESS trip) for leaving me ... childish and petty I know ... but a girl like me has to have something.

In my mind this is better than just being bitchy or taking it out on him in person ... because clearly he doesn't deserve any "punishment" for doing his job ... but I hate it when he's gone. Not because I'm codependent or anything, but because it's not fair. I say "it's not fair" because that is his least favorite phrase on earth ... it drives him nuts!!!

I'm sure there's a specific therapy or medication that might help me with this disorder, but I'm really not interested. All I'm interested in right now is keeping an eye on the clock ... so I can clean all this crap up before he gets home ... well, most of it anyway. I have to get something out of the bargain ... right???